Saturday, April 30, 2011

fine and dandy


We have a large feild near our house where we walk with our dog Cara.
It changes through the seasons and I have been loving that the mud has dried and we can go in without wellies.
Its largely green grass and has sporadic patches that glow yellow with dandelions.
These will soon give way to lots of buttercups and then some poppies will sprout - if last years cycle is anything to go by.

As we walk through rachel loves to go and gather handfuls of dandelions and give me a big bunch as a present.
They're so bright and cheery and given with such enthusiasm I take them home and put them in a vase.

Rach tried to give some other people dandelions and they refused to take them. "Disgusting" "Look she's giving me pee-the-beds". I can't help but think the Scottish terminology for dandelions as "pee-the-beds" has added to their demise as a pleasant plant to have around, but really? Do people actually believe the old wives tail that they make you urinate at night if you pick them? I have to inform you that I picked one yesterday and my sheets were dry this morning.

I can understand that no-one wants them growing in their lawn and they propagate annoyingly fast but why hate it so much? I have to admit that I felt a mild dislike when Rach first started picking them but when I stopped to try and work out why I actually couldnt come up with a good reason. So I am on a mission to enjoy the beauty of the humble dandelion - to champion its beauty and to dispel the myths. We need to open our eyes to the hidden things of beauty. See the world through the eyes of a child.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Project 40 - epic fail

When I was trying to think of what to do for lent this year - or whether should actually do anything - I found myself thinking what the whole thing was about.
Heaven knows I need to develop some self-discipline and lent has always been a good time to try that. When I was younger I had masses of self-discipline and could give things up just by deciding I would.
As I've grown up I seem to have grown, well, lazy. I make real excuses for myself and now the world is less black and white it doesn't matter so much if I break that resolution does it?

This year was different.
I didn't want to have a whole 40days of focusing on me...of thinking about my love of chocloate/tv/other thing I wish I didn't like.
But I did want to think more about Easter and what is a really special time to me.
So #project40 was born.
It was partially born out of my admiration for my friend Karen's #project365 and the amazing photos she took every day of last year.
So I decided to start taking a photo a day for the 40days of lent. Each one a reminder of spring or Easter.

It started well and I loved having to think of easter every day. Of trying to find signs of it in the world around me.
Here are some of the shots.


This was my first butterfly sighting. I love butterflies and was reminded of the glass butterfly given to me by a friend who has died. She had told me she got it to remind me that "God is lovingly changing me into something beautiful".


Rach was giving it millions dancing at granny's house and didnt seem to tire at all. It reminded of that song "I could dance 100miles because of your great love" - what is my response to the amazing love shown to me at easter?

One of the hardest parts of project40 was putting the pics on twitter. I was enjoying taking them but my pride struggled with the vulnerability of sharing them.
Because of this, and more largely because of my lazyness, the project dwindled. It became sporadic and then stopped.

So here I am at Easter. I tried but I failed.
I'm disappointed in myself. I have to recognise that I'm not all I thought I was.
Noone that follows me on twitter has even mentioned that I've stopped or asked why. Maybe they assume I am embarrassed. They'd be right. javascript:void(0)

It's the Saturday between Good Friday (when Jesus died) and Easter Sunday (when Jesus was raised again) and to be sitting in a shamed, embarrassed, disappointed heap seems to be fitting.
Being a little less prideful and a little more accepting of my humanity and imperfections is the best place to be - I'm ready to accept grace. Ready to feel loved and accepted and to realise that is nothing to do with me, my achievements, my success or my ability to post 40 photos :)

Maybe I'll go back to giving up chocolate next year.